By Carolyn Rim
5 Steps To Heal Self-Worth
You can change the way other people treat you by changing the way you treat yourself. The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others.
A woman had private messaged me and this is what she wrote to me,
“Dear Carolyn, low self-worth is the biggest huddle for me in goal setting. I know goal setting works but in the past my low self-worth always sabotaged my goals even when I had achieved them or was just about to reap the rewards of a lot of hard work. Please do a video on how to heal self-worth. Screaming at myself how great I am isn’t the answer,
Thank you Anonymous Rockstar so much for asking about self-worth, because this is something that isn’t talked about often and it needs to be talked about more. I am going to dive right into it and give you 5 steps that are going to help you implement change in the way you think about yourself.
#1 YOU FIRST
Just like when you are on a plane that’s crashing you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else, you need to apply this in your own life okay. When you know how to identify your own needs and have a range of options for fulfilling them, you don’t have to rely on others to do it for you. By taking care of you first, you become a role model for others, especially when you have children in your life. We can demonstrate that self-care is actually a way to care for others because we serve from our overflow instead of our cup.
#2 LISTEN TO YOUR HEART & TAKE MASSIVE ACTION
Listen to your heart, honor yourself as the expert of your own life and trust yourself, you must trust in something whether it’s your destiny, God, source, gut, fate, karma, whatever you call it based on your beliefs. You must believe that something is guiding you, it will give you the courage to follow and listen to your heart even when it whispers to take the first step and take the leap of faith in the dark even though you can't see the whole staircase. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out the voice of your heart, have the courage to follow your heart and your gut. They somehow already know what you truly want to become and when you take action, even if you do self sabotage yourself here, you will learn. Failure is a good thing. You can not have success without failure. Our mistakes are our the best teachers on the planet.
#3 STOP BLAMING AND TAKE YOUR POWER BACK
People with low self worth blame people for their past mistakes because they have a hard time looking at inner truths. Anytime you feel resistance, its because you are about to meet part of yourself you may not like. Thats part of the process rockstars! The sooner you open your eyes, the sooner you can take your power back and move forward! If you continue to play the blame game, you will never accept your true powers within. It takes a lot of courage to tweezer open your eyes and see what beliefs are affecting your life in a negative manner. Stop blaming others for where you are at, accept 100% full responsibility for where you are now and then decide where you want to take yourself. By accepting full responsibility, you take your power back! Like Glinda from the Wizard The Oz said, "You had the power all along my dear. You just had to realize it for yourself.
#4 HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU?
A huge part of self-worth is respecting your body and what you put into your body. Are you eating junk food every day or are you putting good nourishing foods into your body? Are you wearing sweatpants every day or are you dressing for success and dressing in clothes that make you happy and make you feel good? Are you taking care of you? Guess what rockstars? You are constantly sending a message to your brain all the time. How you feed yourself and how you dress yourself is sending a message to your brain on how you really feel about you. Respect yourself, respect your body, and treat it like the beautiful amazing gift that it is. Take care of you.
#5 FORGIVE YOURSELF
I thank the universe every single night for every past experience that I have had whether it be good or bad. Because I needed every valley to make my mountain top, taste better. Remember what you give to yourself, you give to others. This is true for compassion, kindness, consideration, sensitivity, empathy, and forgiveness. When you can actually give these to yourself, you are much more able to give them to others. Here is a mini exercise you can do right now to forgive yourself for any mistake you have made in the past:
Rockstar Forgiveness Visualization
Choose one thing you would like to forgive yourself for. Close your eyes. Imagine stepping into your child self and standing before your adult self now. Say in your minds eye, "I need forgiveness with ___________________________. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."
Now rise above and see yourself going into your higher self as a bright white light. Imagine looking down from above on your adult self and your child self. Now imagine seeing the situation you need forgiveness with playing on a big screen. Watch the situation happening and see the situation playing out in black and white. Watch it happen in slow motion.
Now, what's the biggest lesson from this particular situation? What was the universe, God, your heart, (Whatever you call it based on your beliefs) trying to show you with this mistake you made? Now see the movie screen freeze. Take a deep breathe in for 4 seconds through your nose and breathe out for a count of 8 seconds. Imagine as you breathe out this situation starts to become smaller and smaller. Continue to breathe in and out like this until you see this situation melt and dissolve into the bright burning sun. Now go back into your child self. You are a child asking for forgiveness.
Now go back into your adult self. imagine your adult self, coming to your child self and bending down on one knee. Hug your child self heart to heart. Then look deeply into the child's eyes and say, "My biggest lesson with this is ______________________. I now understand and embrace this lesson. I am grateful for this lesson. I forgive myself, I forgive anyone involved in this situation and I love myself."
Imagine the child self beaming and smiling at you. It hugs you once more and dissolves into your being because you still have that inner child within you. Allow the forgiveness to take hold with you. Feel it deeply. Do not be surprised if some emotions start to come here. Feel it, allow it to flow and release it.
CLICK HERE TO GET CAROLYN RIM'S 99 Day Meditation Dare Visualizations to help you get over it and create a life beyond your wildest dreams!
Strengthening and building your self-worth isn’t easy, but these are practical tips and steps that can guide you in starting the process. If you have shattered self-worth, and you would like to work with a coach with a proven track record... email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to help you awaken to your truth and make your dreams come true! It's never too late to build yourself back up and to feel good about you! YOU ARE WORTHY AND DESERVING OF LOVE!
Sending you High Fives, Hugs, & Pattern Breaking Ass Slaps,
Founder of Spark Your Rockstar, LLC
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Here's the deal. You will continue to have the same experiences over and over and over again until you change your beliefs on how you are looking at your life and the past mistakes you made.
You see, we all make mistakes in life, and they are the greatest teachers on the planet. Think about your biggest challenge right now. Thats were the opportunity for your greatest evolution lies my rockstars friends.
Do you really believe holding yourself in the self imposed purgatory in your mind and continuing to relive past mistakes over and over and over again will somehow "pay" for your past mistakes? Let me tell you something, torturing yourself in your mind (because continuing to relive past traumas and mistakes that you made and that others have made over and over and over again in your mind is fucking damn near insanity) yet we have all done it. All of us. Me included my little gorgeous love popsicles. All of us have.
Here is the way the universe works. You all about to get schooled rockstar style so pay attention right now and read these next words carefully. Allow them to saturate your subconscious mind like water to a sponge.
Your past mistakes were lessons and unless you learn the lesson from them you will continue to have that same situation repeat itself over and over and over again in your life. DAMNNNNNNN Carolyn!! That was DEEP! (lol That's what she said...)
Continuing on, Have you ever made a mistake and said to yourself, "Whats wrong with me? I should have known better,"? Well if you have, you are not alone and there is a reason you say that because really, you should have know better but because you didn't learn from the past mistakes, so you just continue on in a rinse and repeat cycle of bullshit repeating the same experience in different forms over and over again.
Rockstars, it all stops here. Yup. No more beating yourself up for past mistakes. No more wasting time on what other people think about you! No more wasting time!!!
OW OW OW! Yes I just howled! GET EXCITED WITH ME! If you can learn this, imagine how different your life would be!
Can you imagine not allowing the past to ever hurt you again? Can you imagine not having to carry around that heavy suitcase of guilt, backpack of shame, the whole kit and caboodle of emotions that don't serve you?
LITERALLY ... All your relationships in your life and all your future relationships will instantly change when make this 2mm shift! It changes everything and ripples outwardly like a stone thrown into a pond!
IMAGINE LOOKING AT MISTAKES AS GIFTS! OH MY GOD! RIGHT?! MISTAKES ARE GIFTS? YES YES YES!!! ALL YOUR PAST MISTAKES, AND MISTAKES THAT OTHERS HAVE MADE, AREOPPORTUNITES FOR YOUR GROWTH! Imagine becominggrateful for EVERY PAST EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE? I MEAN... EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! IMAGINE NOW IN YOUR MIND THANKING THE PERSON WHO HURT YOU BECAUSE YOU LEARNED THE LESSON AND BECAUSE IT MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY? IMAGINE WISHING THEM LOVE AND SUCCESS? IMAGINE FORGIVING YOURSELF FOR PAST MISTAKES AND NEVER HAVING TO SECOND GUESS OR DOUBT IT AGAIN? IMAGINE HOW DIFFERENTLY YOU WOULD INTERACT WITH OTHERS NOW THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR BELIEF AND THOUGHTS ON PAST MISTAKES?
Are you getting excited, now that you have this valuable information on how to look at past mistakes and situations?
Whether you need to forgive yourself or you need to forgive another person who hurt you, its one of the most important acts you could ever do for your future so those same past mistakes do not continue on repeat in your life. Forgiveness is mainly for your benefit, not for the other person you are forgiving. With that said, I do believe forgiveness has a ripple affect on others and the world. However, as long as you are feeling like a victim, you are carrying a heavy burden. Forgiveness allows you to put the burden down. Put that shit down rockstars! And simply walk away from it. Completely FREE. This feeling you will feel is a state of pure bliss. "I'm walking on sunshine... Ohhhh ohhhh!" Now you will have that song stuck in your head all day long, your welcome! :)
Embark on a journey – with Carolyn Rim's 99 Day Dare Visualizations to help you finally get over it, forgive yourself & them, & make your dreams come true!
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